Seventeen years ago on January 30, I gave birth to a little girl who God intended for another family. I was in no position to raise a child, and He knew the best life for her was with adoptive parents.
I am at peace with the choices I made, but it doesn’t mean I stop thinking of you, my darling daughter. You are always in my thoughts and prayers, as are your parents. I thank God that he was able to provide a family for you, and hope that you have brought them great joy.
My thoughts are with you even more at this time of year, at your birthday. I think of all the things you must have done in the last year, and all the things you have to look forward to this year. I wonder if your Mother or your Father taught you to drive, or was it both? Have you started dating yet? Do you have a steady boyfriend? Did you wear your Mother’s pearls for your Homecoming dance? Are you excited about your Senior Prom?
I think about your future more and more as well. Are you planning on attending college? Have you already been accepted somewhere? Do you know what your major will be?
And of course, I wonder if you think of me. I wonder if your parents have shared the knowledge of your adoption with you, making sure you know how much they love you, that they chose you to complete their family. I wonder if you appreciate their love as much as I do.
As you grow closer to adulthood, I wonder even more often if you want to find me, to meet me. I know I cannot and should not take the place of your beloved mother, but perhaps you want to see the woman who birthed you. My mother still lives at the same address and the same phone number that were on your adoption papers, and she knows to give you or your parents my current contact information should you reach out for any reason.
I hope you have a wonderful birthday. I wish you a life full of love and happiness with a family who cherishes you as much as I do. I love you more than you can know and always will.
Jennifer Ray
http://www.jenaray.com/
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13 comments:
That was beautiful, Jennifer. I'm sure she is thinking of you and knows how very much you love her.
HI Jennifer, I am an adoptive parent. My daughter is now 21 years old. We adopted her from Poland and she is an amuptee. She has no desire to find her biological parents. She seems content with us and does not question. I am prepared to answer any and even take her back to Poland. But she does not want to go. We love her very much and told her how God put her in another country and made us search for her.
Terri, thank you so much.
Debby, I can't tell you how responses like yours help me right now. To think that my daughter is at peace and happy with her family like yours is one of the best dreams I could have.
Hugs.
Any biological daughter would be blessed to receive such a letter. Your love as well as your gratitude to her adoptive parents shines through. I hope she finds you some day and has the opportunity to read your thoughts.
Crystal
Jennifer:
I think you and I have talked before about this on the LKH board, but I am an adopted daughter. I have known all my life that I was adopted and have been told information about my biological mother from my family when I have asked. I'm 24 now and still dont know if I will ever want to meet her. I love my family and my life now and I thank God every day for her making the decision to let me go where I belong. At times I feel guilty for not being able to answer the questions she might have, like the ones you asked. But then I think of all my own questions. What you do with your birthday letter is an amazing thing. It made me cry and stop to remember that not only the child is affected by an adoption. I think you and I are on opposite sides of a great situation. But to let you know, she does think about you. Even if she doesn't "know" she is adopted, she knows she is different and special. And that is all because of you. I only pray that if meeting her is what you want, that one day you will have the chance. If not, know that you've changed the lives of several people for the better and that is an extraordinary accomplishment.
((Jennifer))
Such a beautiful letter :) You're such a beautiful person inside and out :)
That's a beautiful letter, Jen. All kids should be loved that much, adopted or biological.
What a sweet letter. I hope that someday you get to meet her and she learns how much you truly care.
The OTHER Terri
Jennifer, hugs to you on this bittersweet day! I hope and wish the best for your daughter and that you're able to meet and share love and peace together. You did a wonderful thing.
Shelley Bradley/Shayla Black
Thank you all so much. Your kind words mean so much to me, and maybe to some others out there who are in the same position but silent.
Ashlee, I do believe we have talked about this on the LKH board. It is so good to hear from you.
Please do not feel any guilt over deciding not to look for your mother. From my perspective, it is all about my daughter now, and
what she needs when she needs it. If that means she is never ready to meet me, that is OK.
I just want her to be happy, and I understand that there is a great chance that my disrupting her life may cause her hurt, sadness, worry, or a host of other emotions I would never want to cause her. Your mother loves you, no matter what.
You don't know how much I appreciate your viewpoint as an adopted child. Knowing you had a happy life with your family makes me believe even stronger that my own daughter does too.
Jenn, that was so beautiful, and touching Jenn
I imagine this day was a tough one. What a wonderful way to honor your daughter and yourself.
I hope great things are in store for you and your daughter, together and separately.
Your letter really was beautiful. I've been searching unsucessfully for my biological mother for a few years now. It hurts to think of never meeting her. I know I've never met her but I love her all the same. She gave me life and I'm sure your daughter loves you too.
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