The Alpha Male in Romantic Fiction vs. Real Life

For many of us women who enjoy romantic fiction, the Alpha Male is the kind of hero fantasies are made of. He is arrogant, strong, demanding, dominant, maddening, and more.

Underneath it all, though, he is simply a great guy. He saves the day. He excites us beyond reason. He is strong and confident enough to enjoy the challenge that an equally strong and independent woman presents to him. In fact, he appreciates a woman with a lot of moxy.

But how does that work in real life? In the real world, a man as arrogant and demanding as the romance hero alpha male can be fairly off-putting. And sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference between him and the garden variety jerk or bully.

So what is a woman to do? How does a gal find a guy who has all or some of the positive traits of the Alpha Male without crossing the line into the abusive, domineering SOB that is threatened by a woman who doesn't cater to his every whim?

The trick is to always listen to your intuition. If that little warning bell goes off inside your head, there is probably something your subconscious mind has picked up on that is being overlooked by your conscious. Think about it - think hard. You'll figure out what is wrong with the situation.

On the other hand, is it just that this guy makes you a little uncomfortable? Does he try to push you past some limits that maybe you need to get past? For me personally, there are some things I maybe need a little nudge to get over every now and then - especially in the romantic area. The man who recognizes that and forces me to face my fear might make me a little uncomfortable as I work through whatever it is that worries me, but he is doing me a favor in the long-run.

The problem for the Alpha Male, though, is how can he determine when a woman wants or needs to be pushed a little and when does he need to step back? Trust me, I don't envy the Alpha Male in today's dating world. It can't be easy to temper their natural tendencies to take charge with some of us modern women who demand (and deserve) equal footing. And figuring out when such a woman WANTS him to take charge versus when she needs to keep the reins in hand has to be difficult.